NOT ACCEPTING THE BAD
I, as an author, as a writer, have known a lot of bad. Whether that's recently in my career, or not. Whether that's tied to writing and publishing, or not. Whether that's because of disability and chronic illness, or not. I also know I am not the only one. I am also have privilege as a white woman. I can kinda imagine the faces some people will make reading this, like what does this have to do with writing, with advice, with being the author you are? It's a part of the author life. It's something most people, at some point, experience. The big factor that helps isn't necessarily people on the outside calling it out or the like, it's the community you have found, and keep close.
When I first started planning this piece, I think my focus was very much on community, but at the same time, I can't be completely sure because my memories of that time are hazy and such because of how unwell I was. I have always known though that writing can be very isolating, as a profession, it's rarely something that comes with an office where you, and writers like you, clock in every morning and out every evening. There is very much a community online, but even then it takes time to find the one you fit into most.
I was 19 when I was retired from the working world for medical issues. I was told I would never be able to work a conventional job again. I turned to writing, but back then (it was 2001, yes I am an old) there weren't really writing communities. There wasn't any kind of social media, and so I never really had that sense of community, and even later, when social media became a thing, I was pretty much shut out of a lot of the, because I didn't meet their standards, or being disabled and therefore not able to attend everything every single time because I was sick and/or in hospital, got me kicked out. It happened enough that I basically accepted that community like that was for 'other people'.
Even with me being on things like Facebook, or Twitter, or even Instagram, and early YouTube days, I didn't have the connection others did. It really didn't happen for me, the finding that community until the COVID days, maybe a couple of years before. It felt like during those early days with lockdowns and such, my world opened up. I found people both in the UK, and further afield. People who were disabled and/or chronically ill, and it was just eye opening to see what had been blocked from me for so long.
Writing does not have to be an isolated experience. I don't mean that you have to like start a YouTube channel, or anything else like that, but you can find people in all the places all the other people exist in. Threads, now that I've left Twitter and will never go back, has been great for me finding other authors and writers who are also looking for writers to connect with, and you can find the same across most social media platforms.
Back when those groups and such made it clear that I was not welcome and not one of them, I should, maybe, had advocated for myself, should have pointed out the ableism, but I just didn't have the confidence to do so. I didn't have the courage to do so. If it happened now, especially to someone I care about? Oh you bet I would be spitting nails and making sure they knew what they were doing was not okay. Sometimes you have the tools to fight your corner, sometimes you don't, but even if you don't, you don't have to give up. You don't have to accept the bad. You breathe, you give yourself a moment, and then you keep going.
You got this!
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