Showing posts with label indie author. Show all posts
Showing posts with label indie author. Show all posts

Monday, 14 September 2026

5 Facts About My Current Working Projects

5 FACTS ABOUT MY CURRENT WORKING PROJECTS

While when I planned this piece I had about 5 projects on the go, it has turned out to be wholly different than I could have imagined. This is my fourth (I think) month back since almost dying last October. That made it so that I didn't work on anything for eight months, and while I like to think I am back to author life completely, my body, and brain, always like to remind me that there are vast differences to the way I worked then, to the way I work now, and that's okay, no matter what my brain tries to convince me, it's okay work at a different pace, and that is not either failure, or an inherently bad thing that must be stopped by any measures possible. 

Like I said, my work looks different now. I have two projects I'm working on. Both are revisions, both are on the last stop before the editing train begins, with one hopefully heading that way in November, and the other in April 2027. For all the things I hate about that huge chunk of time I wasn't able to work, the distance it gave me for both projects is not one of them. I had story fixes that even at the time I knew would have to be seriously worked on in dev edits, and other bits and pieces that at the time, I did not know if it were possible for me to manage to smooth things out before dev edits. Both of these issues are mostly now non-issues, I fixed the plot bits, I found solutions, and ways to naturally weave things through. That was a very big plus, because an author brain at rest, is not totally shut down.

But anyway, onto the facts and the projects. I'm gonna start us off with Visible, which is the third in the Invisible quartet, a YA dystopian dealing with chronic illness, disabled resilience, and the haunting reality that disability is somehow always inherently bad. Two POVs, all living in a futuristic England where the country is split into 9 self-governing segments. One day bombs fall on Zya's segment (South-West), and Jonah's segment (North-West). The bombs contained a virus that infected and disabled all survivors, leaving the segments on their knees, and striving to survive. Obviously with this being the third book, there are some things I can't share due to spoilers, but I shall do my best!

FACT #1: ZYA WILL FIGHT TO GET ANSWERS

Zya, has been disabled since a very young age, and with them all being outside of the segments, the only place any of them have ever known, she will take that leadership given to her and do whatever she can to protect everyone. Even those who might be seeming to hold back on some of the very real truths about the way the world is, and also what lies ahead for them. Zya will fight for answers, and to save as many as she can.

FACT #2: JONAH WILL NO LONGER BE PASSIVE
While Jonah became disabled because of the virus, and while he has been the more severely affected, he is not going to lie down and expect someone else to save him, or anyone else he cares about. He will adjust, he will do better, and he is no longer going to be the weakest link, even with the body blows coming his way time after time, he will fight so that everyone he cares about might survive.

FACT #3: THEIR JOURNEY IS FAR FROM OVER
The group of them, those who came with Zya, and those with Jonah, are in for the fight of their lives. One side want to use them, the other sees them as beyond saving, and the whole group is having to come to terms with the fact that no one is coming to save them, and they are going to have to fight to live, and hope that they all come through the other side of it all.

The second project is Cramping Chronicles: The Fifth Agony, which is the fifth and final book in the Cramping Chronicles series, which is a YA urban fantasy dealing with empaths, triggers, chronic illness, and a threat to the world as we know it. Again, I can't give spoilers because that would not be good, but it's gonna be good!

FACT #4: JESSIE IS THE ONE THAT NEEDS SAVING

Jessie, the main character has gone through a whole lot, learning about her empath ability, working out how to control it, and dealing with all of her triggers, and this time, she's the one that needs to be saved, and no one knows if it's even possible. The focus has to be on making sure that threat is stopped, but the horrible things is, it might be at the expense of saving Jessie, and no one wants that.

FACT #5: ROE WILL DO EVERYTHING SHE CAN, EVEN AT THE RISK OF HER SAFETY
Roe might not have been the one closest to Jessie, with Meera being Jessie's girlfriend, and Gray being her childhood bestie, but Roe is the one who seems to have some way to reach across the breach between her and Jessie, and she will do that, and anything else that might help, even if it puts her life at risk.

So there you go, my five facts of my two current projects. I don't know if I will ever be back to the level of working I was before, but right now I'm okay with just being here, and able, to continue being an author. 

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Monday, 7 September 2026

How Planning Works For Me

HOW PLANNING WORKS FOR ME

Most people who've followed me for a time know that I am exceptionally organised and I'm big on planning. It made me chuckle the other day when a friend thought that because of that love of planning, I must be a big planner when it comes to drafting, and I was like, oh, no, I plan absolutely everything but not that, never there. My plan there is more vibes and brain squirrels!

But that aside, I am, and have been a planner of my author life for a while. A big win for me was finding planners that actually worked for me. I didn't want much, but I did want them undated, and also ones with a monthly spread and also a weekly one. For the past five or so years, that was how I planned. Sadly, after the sepsis and the loss of the majority of use of my right hand and arm (my dominant side) I can't use my paper planner. Eerily, it has the plan for what would have been November pencilled in. But I did find an app that works for me, so I can still, somewhat, do the thing.

Planning has been a massive thing for me, mostly since I got a bit more serious with the author life after I graduated with my degree. To begin with it was the sticky notes app on computer, from there it went to the paper planner, and now here we are. I will also add that as a teen, I did similar kinds of things when revising for my exams, so I think it's safe to say that's just how my brain works best!

I still, even coming back to work after eight months of recovery, find that planning is better for me. It allows me to know what I'm gonna be doing on any day of the week, and it also allows me to just keep that anxiety calm. I always feel like if I don't get started doing things by a certain time that I am not going to have time for the thing I need to do. Sometimes it would get to the point where I just didn't do the thing, but now I've been tracking my time for a while, I also have some clue about how long things will take so that happens less now.

It's more than just wanting to be organised, it's also a way for me to keep track of what happened when. I have several chronic illnesses that get worse if I push through on days when I should rest. Or when I pile too much work on a specific day. For the majority of the time before sepsis I would do one thing a day, occasionally two. After, I'm back to one only because my body is not a happy camper if I sit up too long. I don't know when or if I will go back to the occasional two, but it'll be something to keep a close eye on through planner and an app I use to track pain levels and such.

The bottom line is that planning does, very much so, work for me. It also helps me on so many levels. I know that for some people it's not an option, and that's okay not everyone's brains work the same and we gotta do what works for us. Planning has been a saviour for me, and I'm glad that I still have that even if only in an app rather than in different colour pens!  

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Monday, 31 August 2026

Leaning Into Your Strengths - The Creative Process

LEANING INTO YOUR STRENGTHS

One of the things that have always helped me stay grounded when it comes to emergencies in the publishing stages or the like, is that I know what works for me. I know how my brain works in a crisis: I panic, I freak, and then I try and work out a solution along with bullet point list that will show me just what has to be done, and when it has to be done by. This can be something that pulls me out of the fire and allows me to, somewhat calmly, work towards fixing the issue and keeping the remainder of my ducks in a row.

At the end of the day, we can't always see these issues coming. They can blind-side us. They can pop up and freak us out, and make us think we're cursed. I feel like during the panic and freak stage of fixing the crisis, I will always try and cut through the panic rushing around my head, and be like, hey we got this, we've been here before, and it will be okay. I can't claim that it always works or gets through, but it has at times, which has to be a win. 

Whether you're in the drafting stage and found out that whole first half of your book has this massive glaring plot hole that you only just spotted, or when you're in revisions and realise you have three months from the deadline to get the book to the editor, and need to rewrite the whole book from scratch because it's very very wrong. There are more instances, but I feel like you get what I'm going for. There will be times when these things happen, and you're gonna need to have that freak and panic moment, before you settle in at your desk, get serious, and do what needs to be done.

The issue is that a lot of writers don't realise how important that initial stage is. I feel like it might be because that kind of panic and such is usually associated with women? Or that we're told we're adults and should always act like it? I dunno, but I see nothing wrong with venting all of that out and then taking your time, limited or not, to get the work done.

One of my strengths has been knowing that while I will, usually, find the answer I need on my own, I also know that asking for help isn't failing. It's letting me reach out, talk things through and just be allowed to feel what I feel. If you're out there trying to fix this or that, and you do have people you can reach out to, there is nothing wrong with that, like at all, and that applies to all genders.

Writing doesn't need to be something that's isolating. It can be, and I am very aware of that, but it doesn't have to be. We can have our friends, our community, and we are very much allowed to ask for help. Like you might be the person who doesn't ever need to freak and vent, but that doesn't mean you might not, at some point, need that community to help you through this or that. We all need people in our corners, and that's okay, the strength of that should be something you can, and do lean into at any point.

Saying that I do know that it can be hard, and daunting, to both find that community for you, and also be vulnerable with them. It's not easy. I feel like too often the assumption is made that it's awarded to you the moment you pick up a pen or publish a book. It's not, and that means being a grown up, and fighting that vulnerability to put yourself out there.

You got this, and I wish you all the luck! 

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Monday, 24 August 2026

Doing Things Your Way - The Creative Process

DOING THINGS YOUR WAY

I have been writing seriously since I was 19. I didn't grow up wanting to be a writer or author. My dreams were set on medicine and being a doctor. That, obviously, did not work out, and while I've always enjoyed writing and telling stories, I felt the pull back to it when faced with that fact that I would never be able to work a conventional job again. I don't say this to get pity or sympathy. I've always been pretty open about my chronic illnesses and disabilities, but I give you this opening because I find, way too often, that people assume disabled/chronically ill equalling that we have nothing to offer anyone, and that is so far from the truth it's almost funny.

One big thing about disabled people is that we adapt, usually quicker than a non-disabled person. I have been writing for 25 years, and publishing for 21 years. I may not have done either of those in the more conventional routes, but it's okay to do things your way. It's okay to take your time, it's okay to query, it's okay not to. There is no one set way to be an author, and it is completely fine, and valid, to do it differently than someone else.

Before I got myself adapted to the new keyboards and such after the sepsis, I thought about other ways of both writing and publishing. I've tried doing dictation before, and I know for a lot of people it's amazing, but for me, it did not work. I found it hard to speak the story aloud, and even more so found that having to go through and edit and add punctuation just drove me up the wall. I did, have a few people commenting about using AI. My answer there and it's the same now is no, never, not happening, and ew! I know plenty of disabled people, writers or otherwise, who feel the same way.

I knew, and know, that at my core I am and always will be a writer and author. I was terrified what would happen to my mental health if I couldn't do this any more, but I found a way. It might not be the way things were before, it might get back to that (though I seriously doubt it!), but if it doesn't, that's okay too. You have to find your way of doing things, and no one, absolutely no one, should tell you that you have to do this a certain way.

At the end of the day it feels like there are millions of ways to plot, to draft, to revise, to edit, to publish. Some will work for some writers, others will not, and that is okay. We all create differently. Our brains work differently. Doing things your particular way, that's not you doing it wrong, it's you finding what works for you, and your process. The only time I'd suggest a change would be if it was making it harder, or making you ill, or even just not working any more. 

We've all gotta find ways that work for us specifically. If it takes you a whole lot of trial and error, that's fine. If it ends up being a way that is held together with glue because you've taken this snippet from one way and this one from another, still fine. You gotta do this your way. Good luck, because the world needs your stories.  

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Monday, 17 August 2026

How I Edit Revisited - The After Process

HOW I EDIT REVISITED

When I first put this piece on my list, it was something I'd come to when I was in the midst of edits. I could have put it off until such time, but I feel like even with me maybe having to adapt and change the way I do edits alongside other projects, I doubt that my editing approach itself will massively change. I might end up needing longer to complete things, but I have spent a lot of time honing down what I want to do when approaching edits, and I'd like to, if possible, continue to do that!

For those who know, skip this paragraph. My issue right now is that follow sepsis in Oct 2025, where I literally almost died, I lost feeling and the majority of use of my right hand and arm (which had, up until then, been my dominant side). I ended up taking eight months off to recover, and also had to buy whole new keyboards and such for work because my old ones would not work with the way my hand is now. That's why editing and such might still change after this, because I obviously did not have any editing to do and won't until December at the earliest. Now back to the rest!

Editing has always been something that stresses me out! My anxiety goes through the roof, my stomach is all flopping over every time I get an email, more so if I know it's from my editor. I do wanna make it clear NONE of the editors I've used ever have caused this reaction, anxiety gonna anxiety basically. In the last three or four years (I forget to be honest) my way of editing has changed because the editor I use has changed, and his approach to editing, to be specific, developmental editing, is quite different to what I've had before. Namely he does both edit letters, and when necessary, chapter notes within them, for each quarter of the book.

The first time I worked with him, I had no clue whatsoever how I was going to make the changes and also not freak out that I was doing it wrong. He'd always been clear that if I had questions or needed clarification, or for him to check over a corrected portion and offer advice, then I was very much free, and encouraged to reach out to him. I did use this a few times, but I think it was on the second book we worked on.

My approach, I decided, was to basically take it like revisions, and sensitivity reader corrections. Go through it several times, and make sure that I've got a line on what I need to be doing. I know, and make sure I keep telling myself this, that the next stage, line edits, my editor there will happily point out plot issues if she comes across them, so there is a second line of defence if I do a seriously terrible job!

This is how I break it all down:

NOVEMBER:
Send off manuscript, and as each edit letter comes through, read it carefully, even more than once, to get those ideas brewing, and also allow you to think about what might or might not work. DO NOT make changes. For me starting to make those changes when I get that first edit letter will make it harder for me in the second quarter if the issues needing solving have been made massively worse by the changes I made. I just want to have the whole picture so I can accurately doing things.

DECEMBER: Start making changes. Do it in 2 chapter chunks, it taking however long it takes, and making sure I reference the appropriate letter while doing so. I also make sure to read over both chapters again after I've made those changes just to make sure I'm happy with it. This is what I call my first pass.

JANUARY: Usually done with first pass, so now it's time to do the second and third. I will go through in five chapter chunks, again referencing the relevant edit letter, make changes where needed and just make doubly sure this is what I want. I do this twice, and then at the end, I call myself done for dev edits!

I know that everyone has their own way of doing editing, but this is what works for me, and I've found that it allows me time to sit, to turn over ideas, and to get things done my way. However you approach editing, I hope it goes well for you! 

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Monday, 10 August 2026

Leaning Into The Good

LEANING INTO THE GOOD

Last week, I talked about not accepting the bad when it comes to being shut out or excluded from the writing community as a whole (piece found here). My experience was not the best, and it was, I feel, based very much on being a disabled and chronically ill author, as well as someone who wasn't getting their start in being an author right in the times of social media. Yes, I am an old, and today is actually my 21st Authorversary, which is wild to me to be honest. I feel like the 20th was only a few months ago, but given what happened shortly after that milestone, I can somewhat understand why my brain is stuck thinking we're either at the end of 2025 still, or only just at the start of 2026!

With that behind me, I wanted to focus on the fact that with social media, and with the ability to connect with both disabled and chronically ill indie and trad authors a whole lot easier, that it's okay to lean into that fact. I don't mean that you should only talk to and/or make community with other authors who are disabled and/or chronically ill, and should exclude all others. I just want to be clear there. You have to find the space and community that is best for you, and that's okay.

We all know that writing can be isolated. In the lockdowns, things like livestreams, at least on Authortube, skyrocketed, and with it came this idea that we don't have to stay locked in our offices and not see or talk with other writers. We could, easily in some cases, create and foster that community, and I love that. I love it for writers from all walks of life because having that community around you is such an important and validating thing. It's the people who will join your inner circle and make sure you know you can ask and talk about all things writer and author, whether that be those in the query trenches or those who are planning to go indie. I love that, it's just freaking amazing!

Like I said in last week's post, I didn't have that when I was debuting in 2005. I was one disabled and chronically ill writer, who just wanted to have at least one book to my name if nothing else. Had things like KDP and ebooks and the like not opened up the indie path even more, I doubt I would have been in the position to publish a second book, never mind the rest! I had support from friends sure, but they were not looking to publish, and that, for me at the time, made the whole thing both scary and exhilarating all at the same time.

So if you are now thinking about wanting to find that community, then yes, go for it! There is no shame in needing to find your people, and you don't have to click with everyone, but I urge you to keep trying, to keep putting yourself out there. Sometimes you are the one finding the people, and other times, they find you, and it's always a beautiful and amazing thing!

I found a lot of my community during the lockdowns, and even some before that. I feel like the connection we all have has opened us all up to bringing others in as well. Writing doesn't have to be an isolated thing, you're allowed to embrace the people in the writing and author space that you click with, even if you write wildly different genres and ages. That's the beauty of both writing and the community as a whole, we vibe with who we vibe and ain't nothing wrong with that!

Put yourself out there, and keep going, you got this! 

Follow Joey to be kept up to date with the latest news regarding Joey and her books.    

Monday, 3 August 2026

Not Accepting The Bad

NOT ACCEPTING THE BAD

I, as an author, as a writer, have known a lot of bad. Whether that's recently in my career, or not. Whether that's tied to writing and publishing, or not. Whether that's because of disability and chronic illness, or not. I also know I am not the only one. I am also have privilege as a white woman. I can kinda imagine the faces some people will make reading this, like what does this have to do with writing, with advice, with being the author you are? It's a part of the author life. It's something most people, at some point, experience. The big factor that helps isn't necessarily people on the outside calling it out or the like, it's the community you have found, and keep close.  

When I first started planning this piece, I think my focus was very much on community, but at the same time, I can't be completely sure because my memories of that time are hazy and such because of how unwell I was. I have always known though that writing can be very isolating, as a profession, it's rarely something that comes with an office where you, and writers like you, clock in every morning and out every evening. There is very much a community online, but even then it takes time to find the one you fit into most.

I was 19 when I was retired from the working world for medical issues. I was told I would never be able to work a conventional job again. I turned to writing, but back then (it was 2001, yes I am an old) there weren't really writing communities. There wasn't any kind of social media, and so I never really had that sense of community, and even later, when social media became a thing, I was pretty much shut out of a lot of the, because I didn't meet their standards, or being disabled and therefore not able to attend everything every single time because I was sick and/or in hospital, got me kicked out. It happened enough that I basically accepted that community like that was for 'other people'.

Even with me being on things like Facebook, or Twitter, or even Instagram, and early YouTube days, I didn't have the connection others did. It really didn't happen for me, the finding that community until the COVID days, maybe a couple of years before. It felt like during those early days with lockdowns and such, my world opened up. I found people both in the UK, and further afield. People who were disabled and/or chronically ill, and it was just eye opening to see what had been blocked from me for so long. 

Writing does not have to be an isolated experience. I don't mean that you have to like start a YouTube channel, or anything else like that, but you can find people in all the places all the other people exist in. Threads, now that I've left Twitter and will never go back, has been great for me finding other authors and writers who are also looking for writers to connect with, and you can find the same across most social media platforms.

Back when those groups and such made it clear that I was not welcome and not one of them, I should, maybe, had advocated for myself, should have pointed out the ableism, but I just didn't have the confidence to do so. I didn't have the courage to do so. If it happened now, especially to someone I care about? Oh you bet I would be spitting nails and making sure they knew what they were doing was not okay. Sometimes you have the tools to fight your corner, sometimes you don't, but even if you don't, you don't have to give up. You don't have to accept the bad. You breathe, you give yourself a moment, and then you keep going.

You got this! 

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Monday, 27 July 2026

The Trials Of A Crime Writer: Percolating Ideas

THE TRIALS OF A CRIME WRITER: PERCOLATING IDEAS

I've had a lot of time to think during the eight months I was off work following sepsis that almost killed me, and even then left me with some not so nice affect effects. While in hospital, though to be clear, I only have very vague memories of the last three days of my stay, and nothing of the ten days before that. But anyway, what I was able to spend my time, when I wasn't sleeping or the like, was percolating a whole bunch of ideas.

For those who don't know I took time away from drafting in the middle of 2024 to try and revisit other first drafts that I knew would need more work before we got to the editing cycle. It really helped me get those books into shape, but also allowed some of those ideas I'd had at other times to sprout up and go where they needed to. 

I didn't, at that time, have the ability to type, and because of everything that happened during the hospital stay, I wasn't yet at a point where I could be understood with voice notes. So all I was left with was hoping I remembered them when I got to a point where I could type them out. However, I will say that because they both completely gripped my thoughts, I did remember them fully, I had also, because I'd just let them ruminate around in the back of my mind, developed them to a point where I could probably have started drafting even without doing the minimal plan I usually do with drafting!

Being a writer, being an author, it's such a core part of myself. I know I've written a variety of genres, but I got my start in thriller/crime/mystery, and I adore that both of these new ideas fall into that genre. Crime writing has always interested me, but at the same time, I have always gone where the ideas take me. It feels fitting though that for my 49th and 50th books, I will, once again, be dipping back into where I started. I'd say it feels like coming full circle, but that, to me at least, sounds like I'm saying these will be the last new books I plan to write, and I don't think that's true.

I don't yet know when I will be able to get into drafting again. I'm hoping that next year, I will be in a place where I can, somewhat, juggling drafting with revision, but I just don't know at this point. Sometimes we have to put things off, and pick them up when we're able, and that's okay, that's both part of being a writer, an author, and also part of being chronically ill and disabled. 

I know I want to tell these stories, and so I will continue to feed them, to allow them to grow, to percolate them at the back of my mind, and wait for the time when they can be brought into the light and are able to fully exist, but until then, it helps me to know they are just there ready for me when I need them. 

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Monday, 20 July 2026

The Trials Of An Indie Author: Juggling Deadlines

THE TRIALS OF AN INDIE AUTHOR: JUGGLING DEADLINES

This is something that, when I brainstormed this idea, I didn't realise would take on a whole different meaning for me when it came time to write it. Funny how life can hit you that way! Originally, I planned for this to be written while I was in the midst of starting dev edits, while also juggling other revisions (of which there were about four projects!), and I thought that it would be good to give that perspective to both other indie authors, and just writers in general, because even if you're trad pub, you will have deadlines to meet while also having to make sure that the writing work gets done for the next project or whatnot.

At the time of writing, I have only been back at work for a month after eight months of recovery. I'm still trying to find a way that works for me routine wise, but even with the changes that have come in my author life, I do have something to add to this kind of discussion. At the end of the day, you know you, and how you work, best, so if these don't apply to you, that's okay! I am one voice, and we all do a lot of a little of this advice and a splash of another to find a way that works for us, and I kinda like that!

So lemme give you some of the things that have helped me!

#1 USE SOFT DEADLINES
If you are someone who needs breathing room when it comes to deadlines or the like, using a soft deadline can actually help. This is basically setting the deadline where if you fail to meet it for whatever reason, you have a bit of time to catch up. I've done that with books, where I've told myself, I have to be done with revisions by a certain date, when actually that date is like two-four weeks before the hard deadline. It just gives me a little extra time if I need it. I don't actually always need it, but I like having it there, it especially helps when chronically ill because some days all the good intentions in the world are not going to allow me to work. So this is one I've found really helps.

#2 ORGANISE IMPORTANCE

Obviously, there are going to be projects that have a higher priority. Like a book due to enter the editing cycle, and missing it would mean causing a chain of events that will hurt you in the long run. Other projects might have deadlines too, but they might be ones that can be pushed back slightly without causing issues. Once I came back to work, I knew I wasn't going to be able to pick up where I left off, with the workload I had before. Instead, I narrowed down the projects that needed to be worked on sooner because of things liked editing and such. It does mean that, for now, I am working a very small load, but I gotta look after me, and take care of myself as well.

#3 ALLOW FOR BREAKS
I know, if you've watched my AuthorTube videos, that I have always been a big advocate for rests, for telling people that you don't have to earn them, and while it might be repetitive for me to say it here, it's also true. When you're juggling multiple things work wise, you will need to have some time off in there. You will never do your best work sleep deprived, exhausted, and drained. You will make mistakes which will make things harder for you in the long run, and you will end up burned out, no one wants that. So along the way, make sure you remember to take it easy, to have breaks, and to be kind to yourself.

So there we go, I wish you all the luck! Deadlines can be a beast, but they should not be something that causes long-term harm. Breathe, take a break, and come back to it, you've got this! 

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Monday, 13 July 2026

Spoonie Write: Working At Your Speed

SPOONIE WRITER: WORKING AT YOUR SPEED

I think one thing that a lot of people, writers and otherwise, chronically ill and otherwise as well, is that there are very little things in the creative space, especially writing wise, where it is a race. There's so many ideas, and even if someone else is literally doing the exact same idea and characters and all the rest, there is always, always going to be differences in the execution of that idea, that it's damn near impossible for them both to be exactly the same.

There is no race in publishing. There is no upper age limit that says if you've not published by x age that you will be banned from ever doing so. I say this as someone who seriously started writing at 19, and then had my first book out at 23. It is still not a race. Yes, there may be hurdles for some that aren't there for others. Disability showcases that all the time, as do BIPOC authors and their stories. Even in 2026, we are not yet in a place where the majority of stories that are being trad pubbed aren't a huge percentage of white authors. It sucks, and it's wrong, and I hate that.

But for the chronically ill and/or disabled authors, the last thing you gotta be doing is pushing yourself to breaking point when there is genuinely no need to do so. I'll admit, when Blackout hit shelves in 2005, I was very anxious about the fact that with how bad my health was, I would never get to publish another book. I'm talking the kind of anxious that kept me up at night. I knew the option to go with the people who published Blackout was out of reach, and it was really only six years later that things like KDP came into play and allowed me to finally put that second book out, followed by a third, and so on. 

Too much of the time, with things like hustle culture and productivity being used to define our worth, we do get caught up in all of that. I know that coming back to work after 8 months off, I really struggled with knowing that my plans had been so derailed, and the worry about whether I would be able to be as 'productive' as I had been before would derail plans even more. There were a lot of conversations with myself, with my carers, with my doctors, about just how much would be possible. It was heartbreaking to realise that in surviving something so serious, I had, possibly, also lost a huge part of myself, namely my ability to write and such.

For me it wasn't, necessarily, about being back at the pace I was, but about being able of finding a new kind of routine that would work for me, and would, maybe, retain some of those parts of writing and the author life that I love, and look forward to. For example, I didn't know if blog posts would be viable. I didn't know whether I would ever be well enough to do AuthorTube videos again, and both of these are things I actually enjoy and I didn't want to lose them so that I could continue to draft and everything that went with it. 

It came down to a lot of things, and I'm aware that a lot of chronically ill and/or disabled writers are already aware of in theory. I had to learn how to pace myself a lot more than I used to. I had to be really careful about not overloading myself with work. I had to be okay with maybe not getting everything done. I had to be okay with rest days popping up unplanned, and I had to be okay with leaving a task right in the middle of it, if that was what I needed.

It's still a work in progress. I don't yet have a solid routine, and I'm also aware that I might not ever have one. The constant flux in health, in symptoms mean that I just have to take it as it comes, and hope that it all works out in the end. But if you are reading this, if you're disabled or chronically ill, know that I see you. It's not easy, it has never been, and will, probably, never will be, but however you show up for yourself, for your writing, you're doing amazing, and I wish all the good days for you.

Keep going! 

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